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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Julian Assange is Gay (??)


Wow! I didn't even know this was a rumor, but I'm glad it's out there, because I need some more crazy shit to write about.

A source close to the Assange family says that they can’t believe the rape charges because friends say that Julian is gay and has been openly gay to his family for years.

Other people have also remarked that he's probably gay, and that that explains his connection to Bradley Manning, who is openly gay. Of course! How could I have missed this??? Obviously the entire thing is an intricate scheme, backed by an international network powerful of gays to bring about an end to DADT and/or pave the way for a gay president. Makes total sense. That must be why Elton John hasn't weighed in on this - he's probably in an underground bunker in Iceland manning the controls.

I guess that puts a new spin on the rape charges (or not). Consensual sex with women doesn't seem like the sort of thing a gay boy does for fun, so maybe he did it because he hates women(?!?!) But he told the Sunday Times that he
"really likes women"! Maybe he meant "I just really like women TO GO SHOPPING WITH" but other than that he hates them?!?!?
The only way to settle this for sure is to have sex with him myselfs. I can tell if the boy I'm engaged in sexy times with is gay. Experience.... trust. I will start working on this immediately. Wish me luck!!!

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